


I̴̤̫̿̕ņ̵̺͔̱̮̈́̈́̋ş̸̠̠͍̈́̽̒̕͝e̷̔͌́͜c̷̫̗͚͛u̷̧̨̺͇̞̍̋͠r̵̫͑ì̷̡̳͔̓͜t̶̛̬͎̔̎y̵̹̬̥̒̍̃

by Billcipher111



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Blood and Injury, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Dark Side, Depressed Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dissociation, Eventual Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Hurt Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, M/M, Pain, Panic Attacks, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Protective Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Protective Logic | Logan Sanders, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Sympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, Sympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, Sympathetic Sides (Sanders Sides), protective sides
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:35:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25890700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Billcipher111/pseuds/Billcipher111
Summary: Roman has locked himself in his room for the past few days. Slowly letting his insecurities get the better of him. What happens when Roman is summoned by the others and tipped too far.Who will be able to save Roman once he is no longer able to save himself? Does he even want to be saved?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Everyone, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Thomas Sanders, Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton
Comments: 64
Kudos: 248





	1. I'm not I̶̤̅̂̄̃n̷̠̰̰̏͝s̶̨̺͈̥̎̎̌̍͘ë̴͈̫͔̍c̷̺̫̣̓͐͌̽̅ū̸̘͍͚̹͇̌r̸̤̐͠ę̶̈́̑̂̕ ̴̦͚̘̱̂͜͝ ̸̧̡͕̜̎̊̐͘͝ͅ ̵̰̞̲̮͑͌

Roman wasn't doing too well after the most recent episode. He had locked himself in his room for the last several days and had been pushing himself to the edge with pumping out new content for Thomas. He _didn't_ eat, he _barely_ slept and he _refused_ to talk to anyone or take a break. He couldn't help but _heavily_ nitpick his work. If the idea wasn't _perfect_ , then it was scrapped altogether. He was horribly stressed and couldn't stop the cascade of horrible thoughts bouncing around his mind.

_It's not good enough..._

_You could do better..._

_It's not original..._

_Thomas deserves **better**..._

_**R̸͙͂̊e̵̥͛́m̴̗̕ủ̷̼̙̚s̷̯͚͂̓** could do **better** than you..._

_**They'll never forgive you..**._

_It was all **your** fault..._

_**You're** the one who decided to make fun of his **name**..._

_He had every **right** to defend himself..._

The more he listened to these thoughts, the worse they got. Throwing around his worst thoughts and feelings back at him. The worst part? He knew that they _weren't wrong._ **_He_ **was the one who messed everything up. **_He_ **was the one who chose his actions. Those were _**his** _mistakes. He only hoped that if he worked hard enough and pumped out enough good content, that would at least give him the _opportunity_ to _try_ and make things right.

_That will **never** work..._

All he needed to do was work a _little harder_. It was the very _least_ he could do after being such a pain for the other sides to deal with.

_They're probably **happy** that you never leave your room anymore..._

He would be able to apologize to J-... _Deceit_. For his actions and making him out to be the _villain_...

_You have **no right** to say his name after what you did..._

He would apologize to Patton for putting too much pressure on him. 

_You expected too much from him. Driving him to his limits. I wouldn't be surprised that he would have **finally** lost his patients to deal with you..._

He would apologize to Logan for always being so uncooperative with him.

_All you do is bother him with your nonsense and ignore him whenever he isn't relevant to your own selfish wants. How horrible does that make you? He does his best for Thomas and all you do is mess things up? **How can you look him in the eyes after treating him so horribly?...**_

And he would apologize to Virgil. For... _Everything_. And he wouldn't expect him to forgive him.

_You don't **deserve** forgiveness..._

He didn't deserve Virgil forgiveness... Or _anyones_. But he had treated Virgil the worst, _by far._

_From the beginning, you gave Virgil **nothing** but a hard time. You made him into the bad guy for you to fight against to make **yourself feel better**. You're **pathetic**. He had never done **anything** wrong to you but you insisted on bullying and degrading him. **Your probably the reason he ducked out.** If not, at least a big reason why. All Virgil has ever done was try and keep Thomas **safe**. But you just had to put your own selfish desires above his. **Didn't you?...**_

Then he would apologize to Thomas. He deserves so much more than...

_A **pathetic** and **self-centered** Creativity who couldn't- **Wouldnt** stop thinking about himself for five seconds to see how much he was hurting thous around him? A **Mistake**? Someone not deserving of the title **Hero**?..._

_Him..._

He also needed to apologize to... _To..._

_You can even say it. How **pathetic**. After everything you've done to make everyone else the bad guy but your self, you still can't even say his name and admit **you were wrong.** You're **always** wrong. When have you never **not** been wrong!?_

_You were **wrong** about Virgil..._

_You were **Wrong** about Janus..._

_You were **wrong** about the wedding..._

_You were **wrong** about everything..._

_**They're** probably mad at you..._

_I wouldn't doubt it..._

_**Your** the one who had messed up..._

_You don't **deserve** them..._

_You don't deserve to **be here...**_

_They would all be **happy** if you ducked out..._

_Janus was right..._

**_You're the evil twin..._ **

_All Remus has ever done was to do his **job** as intrusive thoughts..._

_Your the one who had hurt the ones you had ' **cared** ' about..._

_Your **no** hero..._

_You don't **deserve** to be a hero..._

**_Your not Thomas' hero._ **

Roman gasped and grabbed at his chest in pain. _It hurt_. Almost as if someone was _stabbing_ him in the chest. He looked down to see that there was a small dark patch that was barely covered by his sash. It almost looked like a splatter of ink, staining his previously white and pristine princely outfit.

_You don't deserve the title of ' **Prince** '..._

Roman gasped in pain, not noticing that the spot had grown slightly at the hurtful comment that plagued his mind.

Then he had felt a slight pulling sensation. He was being _summoned_. By _Thomas_. **Dammit**!

Roman quickly ran over to his mirror, looking himself. He looked _horrible_. His hair was a mess, his eyes had _dreadful_ bags underneath them, his clothes were terribly wrinkled. He was a mess. In a rush, he tidied his hair and quickly applied some concealer then with a snap he removed the wrinkles from his clothes. Another look in the mirror had him frowning. His hair _still_ looked like a mess.

_They were going to notice..._

The concealer was sloppy _at best._

_They were going to know how tired he was..._

His suit was looking... _Better_... But the black ' **ink** ' blotch was still there and nearly visible from behind his sash. _He could do better._

He felt another tug.

He didn't have _time_. He rushed to grab a stack of papers filled with his approved ideas and quickly sunk out.

"Greetings, plebeians!" Roman greeted, posing in his typical manner.

_God. Could you go one day without acting like a pompous **prick**?..._

He flinched slightly at the pain but dug his nails into his fists as to not react. 

"Roman," Logan began, "It had taken Thomas calling you more than once for you to arrive. What were you doing?" He questioned. He didn't look mad, but he wasn't the one for flaunting his emotions.

_He's mad at you..._

_You know how **important** punctuality is to him..._

Roman forced a smile threw the pain. "My apologies, Dear nerd!"

_You cant go 5-second without making fun of someone, can you?..._

_How **pathetic...**_

"I was just a bit... Fashionably late! Tis all!" Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Janus staring at him. He felt dread pull into his stomach. 

Logan hesitantly nodded, appearing to take that as an answer. "Alright, let's get back onto the current topic." Logan excepted that _far_ too easily. _Usually_ , he would ask for more detail or lecture Roman on showing up on time but he had just... _Excepted his answer?_

_He didn't want to waste any more time on you than he already hast to..._

_You really **do** get in the way..._

"As for the current issue... _Patton_? Do you mind addressing it? You're more suited to deal with more... _Emotionally_ based issues?" He asked awkwardly. Clearly uncomfortable with the current topic that Roman was still in the dark on.

"Oh!" Patton started. "Well, Roman? We've been talking lately...and _well_..." He paused, trying to work out his sentence. Romans' stomach was in knots and his heartbeat raised.

_They don't like you..._

_They're going to make you apologize for making their lives miserable..._

_They were going to ask you to take a step back and stay out of the way..._

_You're **always** in the way..._

Romans' nails dug tighter into his palms. A trickle of blood making its way down his hand. Virgil was starting to look at him worried. _Why on earth would he be worried about him?_

~~**He didn't deserve it.** ~~

_You don't **deserve** it..._

"Well... We've just been wondering... Are you-"

" _ **Are you ok**_!" Virgil blurted out. Blushing furiously when everyone turned to look at him. "Sorry..." He muttered quietly. "The suspense was driving me up the wall... _anxiety_ and all..."

"That's alright, Virgil." Thomas reassured calmly, "But that is what we're here to talk about. Are you ok Roman?" He asked, turning to the fanciful trait. 

Roman was... _confused_ , to say the least. His fists relaxed and unfurled and he looked baffled at the others. They were asking if he was _ok_? Why did they _care_? Weren't they _mad_ at him? He had messed up _ **big time** _and they weren't even going to _comment_ on that? "Uuh... _Sure_?... Why?" He asked hesitantly.

"You haven't left your room in over a week, kiddo," Patton said, playing with the sleeves of his cat hoodie like he did when he was upset. "We were worried bout you."

_They don't mean it..._

_They're only doing this to show face..._

_Why on earth would they worry about you after all that you've done..._

"Well, I am fine, padre," Roman answered, ignoring the stabbing pain in his chest. "I have just been in my room working in some ideas for Thomas' videos. That's all." He answered. They all looked around at one another, clearly not believing him.

_Why **would** they belive you?..._

_What have you done to make them believe you? Let alone **trust** you?..._

_In fact, they believe that **lying snake** more than you..._

"Oh, _Roman_ ," A hiss rang out that sent chills down his spine. "For an actor, you are such a ' _good_ ' lier..." Janus said, looking at his gloves like he could examine his nails from underneath them.

" _I have no idea what you mean_ ," Roman said, doing his best to keep his mouth in check.

_**God** , how horrible of a person do you have to be to have to try and not be an asshole..._

_No wonder they **hate** you..._

Roman let out an involuntary flinch, doing his best to ignore the stares he was receiving from the others. " _Seriously_ ," Janus said softer, "Are you ok? You've been avoiding everyone."

_**Grate** , now you've gone and upset them..._

Roman's hands were back into tight fusts, trying to block out the pain. "A-and you look a mess," Virgil added quietly. "Your concealer is patchy and you look exhausted. Have you even _slept_?" He asked.

"Of course I have! I-"

" _Lies_ ," Janus stated simply.

_How **stupid** can you be to think you can just lie like that with Janus here..._

Roman flinched back at the comment, his nails digging further into his palms and drawing out more blood. "Roman, are you ok?" Logan asked, "You seem to be in pain. Are you hurt?" He asked, moving closer to Roman to see if he could find any injuries. 

**_All you do is cause problems for them..._ **

Roman quickly backed away, "Of _course_ I'm fine!" He insisted, continuing before Janus could interrupt him, " "But, yes, I haven't been sleeping too often because I've been working on _these ideas_!" Roman said, holding up his _small_ stack of papers.

_How **pathetic**..._

_A creativity who can't even come up with enough **good** ideas..._

_Are you sure you've earned the title ' **creativity** '..._

Roman's forced smile flickered slightly at the pain. Blood lightly smearing onto the stacks of papers he held in his own hand. "You shouldn't _overwork_ yourself, Roman." Thomas softly scolded. "I know that things have been stressful lately-"

**_All because you can't keep your stupid mouth shut..._ **

"-But you need to take a break and go easier on yourself."

"I'll be _fine_!" Roman insisted, "I just needed to pump out a few more ideas and the ill take a break! I _promise_!"

_You should no better than to make promises you can't keep..._

He bit back a flinch, hoping the others didn't notice. But they _did_. They looked back and forth at each other wondering what they should do. " _Well_..." Thomas paused. "Then... Let's see your ideas."

" _What_?"

"Let's see these ideas you've been working on."

"Um- Well... _Uh_..."

_They're not **good** enough..._

_They're going to **hate** them..._

_They will **hate you** if you show them these ideas... _

_You spent **so long** on **horrible** ideas..._

_What will that make them **think** of you?... _

_You **should** have done better..._

_They're **not** good enough... _

**_You're not good enough..._ **

_Thomas would be better **without** you..._

_They **all** would..._

Romans' hands were now lightly shaking, but he didn't seem to notice. "I d-don't think that's the best idea. They still need revised and worked on some more before there more... _Presentable_?" He said hesitantly. 

"We can help you review them," Logan suggested. "You are far too overworked to have to handle them on your own."

Roman sifted from one foot to another, "Yeah... But like you said I _am_ a bit overworked, so most-"

**_All..._ **

"- of these ideas might not be so _good_. I still need to revise them and touch them up a bit before I can show you guys..." He answered.

"Just let us _help_ you, kiddo." Patton insisted.

Virgil nodded in agreement, "You have been overworking yourself to the point of _exhaustion_. We can take some of the load off." He promised, "Just _trust_ us..."

Roman still looked rather hesitant. "I'm not sure. The ideas are.. _. Not so good_ at the moment..."

Janus spoke up, "Oh Roman. There is no reason to be so _insecure_ about your work, I'm sure whatever it is we will all _love_ it."

_Insecure..._

**Insecure...**

_**Insecure...** _

_**I̶̲͌n̵̨̓s̵̞͌e̵̛̱c̴̭͠ȗ̵͍r̷͎̀e̴̪͘.̷̛͕.̷̨̋.̶̣͒** _

_"I am not **Ḭ̴̧̡̧̟̥̮͓̥̜̪̯̭͈̬͍̔̉̈́͋͂̑̈́͒ṇ̶̭̙̼̭̭̱̦̽̉̂̓͊͌̍̍͐̈̔̄̃̚ş̷̡̢͙͔̦̙̳͙̖̪͖̲̝̥̪͂̆͗̇̊̾͛̔̃͐̊̏̕͝e̸̢̪̟̣͇̖̖̯̅̈̈̽̀̈́̂c̷̹̫̭̘̤̺̳͓̺̊ų̴͎̲̱͚̮̮̏̄̃̊̿̀̔̈́̑͛́̑͘r̶̹̳̘̤̟̙̬͓͙̩̭̟̫͇͖̦̲̍̉̀̃͗͊̏̿͊̋͋͛͜e̷̛̖̩̗͔͑͂͌̉̂̾̕**!" _His voice shook the room.

He let out a shocked gasp and slapped his hand over his mouth as the others looked on in startled shock. He felt like was shaking down to his very core. " _Roman_...?"

"I-i am sorry! I- I have no idea what that was...": he insisted softly. He looked confused when everyone looked at him even more concerned. Glancing down at his hand, he finally noticed the blood seeping out of the cuts made by his nails. He was stunned for a moment before quickly whipping the blood off of his face using his sleave. 

Logan was quick to his side, examining his hands. Causing him to drop his papers and scatter them across the floor. Logan was talking as he cleaned Roman's hands before bandaging them. But Roman didn't hear anything. Just the _ringing_ that echoed on his own ears.

_You've really made a mess of things now..._

That last comment tipped Roman over the edge, causing him to gasp out in pain. Nearly sinking to the floor if it wasn't for logan at his side, quick to help him keep steady. He tugged lightly at his sash, the pain quickly spreading like a burning fire. 

The tug on his sash revealed the far larger black stain that had nearly filled the space behind his sash and was quickly spreading. 

Janus and Virgil _gasped_. Horror seeping into there expressions as they realized what was happening to Roman. They were both quickly at Roman's side. The next thing he knew, Romans was sitting on the ground, struggling to breathe threw that pain. Virgil and Janus' hands held onto him comfortingly as they talked to him along with the others. 

But Roman felt far-off at that moment. Like he wasn't in the room. Or as if he was a spectator, watching this unfold with an equally horrified expression. So he didn't hear a majority of what was said to him or the others.

**_"... Safe...ho-... Long..."_ **

**_"...Roman?..."_ **

**_"...-Breath Ro-..."_ **

**_"...-man's falling..."_ **

**_"...falling..."_ **

Romans breathing grew more erratic once he looked down to see the black spot spiderwebbed out further, staining more and more of his _once crisp white suit._

Then there was a hand in his hair and a few holding his hands and rubbing soothingly over his back and someone whispered calming words to him. Wanting him to follow there breathing. It was a struggle, but eventually, he managed to get his breathing slightly under control.

"- _oman_... _Roman_... You need to remain calm." Virgil said softly. Roman's head jerked as he nodded. Focusing on his breathing. "Do you know what's happening?" Virgil asked. Roman shook his head. "Your..." Virgil hesitated. _"Your falling.._." He said, "To the _other_ side. So you need to keep calm and breath so we can help you..."

Romans heart figuratively stopped beating at the news. He was... **_Falling_**? Everything started to feel foggy and distant again. Like he wasn't there. He didn't want to be there. Sitting in front of the others. Vulnerable and in pain. Having the others watch his _humiliating_ downfall. _How low must they think of him now? How weak was he in their eyes? How pathetic was he in **Thomas** ' eyes..._

His chest suddenly shook as all the air seemed to leave his lungs. He _couldn't_ breathe. _He couldn't breathe._ He could vaguely hear Virgil's voice become more panicked and others began chiming in. But he was _far_ to gone to understand it at this point. He _needed_ to leave.

He _needed_ to leave. 

He _wanted_ to leave. 

_**He couldn't breathe.** _

He just needed to _**leave**_.

Leave.

_Leave_.

_**Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave.** _

A rush of airbrushed past him as he managed to force himself to sink out to a far side of Thomas' mindscape where they would never find him.

He curled up into a ball, squeezing his nails into his palms, and cried in pain.


	2. Sleeping In The Bath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I figured that after my fist chapter, some fluff was needed.

Remus wasn't expecting the sudden and faint sound of crying. He didn't even expect to be able to _hear_ it over the sound of him destroying things. Maybe it was because he was destroying things in a place he _usually_ wasn't _allowed_ to destroy things. The living room. 

He summoned copies of photos and other ' _sentimental_ ' objects and was _violently_ destroying them, locking the originals in a spare room. He was in the middle of a mental break down, crying and destroying things. He was all **alone** now and angry. _He didn't do ok alone..._

He rubbed the tears out of his eyes as he summoned his morning star as he quietly stalked closer to the noise. The crying got louder and louder as he got closer. He turned down a corner and dropped his morning star in shock. Huddled in the corner of the hallway, was a crying and sobbing Roman. With his head tucked into his knees, a gasp of pain escaped his lips every now and then.

"...R-... _Roman_?" Remus asked hesitantly. 

Roman gasped and sat back, snapping his head towards Remus. " _Re_ -" he gasped in pain.

Remus gasped as he saw the large black stain covering most of Roman's shirt. " _No.._." Remus whispered in horror. "No _no no **no...**_ " Remus rushed over to Roman's side. "No _no **no**_! Oh, _fuck_! Oh _god_! _No_! Ro! What _happened_!" Remus asked as he held Roman close to his chest. 

Roman didn't answer. Instead, he whimpered in pain. "R-re... It _hurts_..." A few tears spilled from his eyes silently as he shook.

Remus hushed him quietly, whipping the tears from Roman's eyes. " _I know. I know_. It will hurt for a little while longer..." He ran his hands threw Roman's hair. "It will stop soon. _It's ok... It's ok..."_ He comforted.

" _Hurts... Stop... Want it to **stop**.._." Roman muttered in pain.

Remus placed his head on top of Roman's as he held him close to his chest. "I'm sorry, it's too late Ro... I'm so, _so_ sorry... This was never supposed to happen to you, Ro. You were supposed to be the _good one_... God Ro... _What happened_..." Roman didn't seem to process anything Remus just said. He just tucked himself closer to Remus. Whimpering and crying in pain. 

After a bit of time, Roman became silent causing Remus' heart to practically stop. He had passed out from the pain... Well... At least he wouldn't have to be awake for the rest of it...

_**Whoever pushed his brother to this was going to pay...** _

* * *

His head _hurt_. His body _hurt_. His everything **_hurt_**. And he just felt so damn _exhausted_.

Still, he managed to peak his eyes open. The ceiling was a darker color that his bedroom ceiling or the ceiling to the living room. And there was a _suspicious_ dark red stain in one of the upper corners. He managed to sit up slowly to look around. It looked almost _exactly_ like the light side living room. Just a darker color scheme. There were destroyed and unrecognizable pictures an objects scattered around the floor. Another thing that was on the floor, sleeping right up against the couch, was _Remus_. 

Roman felt so... _Confused_. What happened? He was so... _Disoriented_... He lifted his arm to rub at his head but froze when he noticed the color of his sleeve. It was a deep _black_ color. Looking down at himself he finally noticed his different wardrobe. 

Carefully he maneuvered himself off the couch without waking Remus and quickly left to find the bathroom which wasn't too hard considering the dark and light side had similar layouts. The bathroom, like most of the other dark side, was dark. Black tiles, dark brown painted walls, dark accessories. It had more differences from the light sides bathroom than just color. Instead of having a bath and shower, it just had a large tub that, on any other occasion, looked quite appealing. _It also had quite a few faint bloodstains littered about._

There was a wooden shelf built into the wall that was used for storage. The bottom-most shelves were used for various sanitary products like toilet paper, shampoo, body wash, conditioner, and other miscellaneous products. Plus a lot of deodorants. Then there was a shelf or two filled with towels and wash rags.

And the final sheld just had three little baskets in it. The _purple_ basket looked like it hadn't been used in a _long_ time, covered in cobwebs, and nearly pushed to the back of the cabinet. There were very few things left _abandoned_ in it.

Then there was a _yellow_ basket. It was still full of stuff, but it looked like it hadn't been _touched_ it a little while, from the thin layer of _dust_ that was starting to form.

And then a _clean_ _green_ basket that was full and had a few mysterious red stains littered about. It held som normal bathroom supplies and the rest was filled with half-eaten deodorant. 

Then there was the sink, which sat on a long countertop that was decorated with the usual bathroom supplies, and the large mirror that Roman was stuck staring at. He looked so... _Different_. 

The bags in his eyes had become a more permanent feature of his face, witch only showed off how _pale_ he had gotten. His hair was slightly darker and was strewn about. Then was his clothes. His normal princely outfit was stained a dark back color, and the accessories attached to it that used to be a rich golden color had darkened to a sad and dim bronze. His sash was no longer to be seen. Instead, being replaced by a large medium-orange-colored cloak that hid a good majority of his outfit unless it was directly moved out of the way.

When he leaned in closer to the mirror to get a better look at himself, he noticed that the palms of his hands were lightly _scarred_ from where his nails had dug into his palms. 

He should have been freaking out. He _should_ have. But after everything that just happened, all he felt was _numb_. Like he was too emotionally stunned to acknowledge the situation. 

Eventually, Roman found himself moved from in front of the mirror to sitting in the oversized bathtub, pulling the cloak close to his body with the hood of his cloak pulled up over his head, hugging his knees. 

He wasn't really thinking of anything... Just _existing_. And feeling like he was floating in space. He could hear the faint sound of frantic running from somewhere else in the Dark side, along with the occasional sounds of opening and closing doors. And eventually, the door to the bathroom opened. He faintly heard Remus' voice. He was talking but Roman kept hugging his knees and staring out into space. He wasn't ignoring him. He just... Didn't _feel_ all too present at that moment.

Roman flinched slightly when a hand lightly, but firmly, gripped his shoulder. Remus' voice became slightly more prominent. "- _o?_ Can you hear me? _Ro_?" Remus asked quietly. Hesitantly, Roman nodded. "Ok... That's good... How are you feeling?" Remus asked.

"... _Tired_ ," he answered in a faint, scratchy voice. It must have been from how much crying earlier.

"Alright. That's ok. Do you want to go back to the living room and nap on the couch?" Roman shook his head. He honestly didn't feel like even moving. "Ok. You want me to summon some pillows and blankets so we- _you_ can just nap here?" Remus asked, "Then I can leave if you want. There's _no one_ left here who will be bothered by you sleeping in the bathtub, anyway." He said as a joke, but there was something sad far off in his voice.

Roman nodded, then in a soft voice, " _Stay...?_ "

Remus looked shocked by this, bit was glad to accommodate for his brother. "Alrighty!" He said happily, summoning his ratty pillow and blood stained blanket for himself and a nicer and softer set for his brother. _**God** , he loved his ratty pillow and bloody blanket..._

When they both laid down, Roman had fallen asleep quickly and in his sleep, he ended up clinging closer to Remus. And right before he passed out, Remus couldn't help but think that his brother had to have been _pretty **badly**_ hurt to find comfort from being in close proximity to him... It was a strange feeling. Not unwelcome. Just _strange_.

* * *

The next time Roman woke up, he felt more aware. Like if the shock had started to slowly wear off, slightly. He rolled over lightly in the tub. Remus was gone. Panic started to rise in his chest. _Were was Remus? Why was he gone? Did he hate him? What did he do wrong?_

Roman shook slightly as he made his way out of the tub and out of the bathroom. 

_What if Remus left him? Did he say something wrong? Could he apologize? Would Remus forgive him!?_

He quietly made his way into the living room. The living room was _cleaned_ now. No more broken objects strewn around the room. And Remus could vaguely be seen in the kitchen, humming while doing something. Maybe cooking? _Can Remus cook?_

Quietly, and nervously, Roman tiptoed into the kitchen just in time to see Remus slip two pans into the oven. He chewed on his thumbnail slightly, shifting from foot to foot. He wanted to get Remus' attention, but he didn't want to possibly upset him...

Remus turned around and looked shocked to see him for a moment but then, "Hey Ro! I see you're up! How are you feeling?" Remus asked.

"Fine." He said, quietly.

"That's good!" Remus smiled, bouncing on his heels, slightly. "I made pizza. I had no idea if you were hungry or not but _I_ sure was!"

Roman tilted his head slightly, "You can _cook_?" He asked. He paused once he realized that that could be considered rude. He rushed to apologize but Remus beat him to it.

"Yeah! _J-_ I was taught in case I ever needed to cook for someone else. I still make weird food, but most of the weirder shit is for me." Remus answered.

Roman nodded slightly and awkwardly sat down at the kitchen table. The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Or well, Roman felt uncomfortable. Remus just sat, perched upon the countertop, swinging his legs as he hummed.

Roman didn't know what to do. Should he _say_ something? What _would_ he say? What if he said something _stupid_ and made Remus _mad_. He didn't want Remus to _hate_ him. Bit he also didn't know how long he could stand the silence. Just as he got the courage to open his mouth, Remus spoke. "You seem to be thinking pretty hard over there. Wanna tell me what's on your mind?" He asked. 

**_"I'm sorry_**!" He blurted out.

Remus looked confused. " _Sorry_? What are you sorry about?" He asked.

Roman shifted a bit. "You... You weren't _there_ when I woke up..." Roman answered, "'I was afraid I made you mad..."

"Oh... _Oh_!" Remus exclaimed. "No, I wasn't mad! I was just hungry, after everything that just happened I figured you would be hungry too!" He said. "Now that I think about it I maybe _should_ have left a note or something. Sorry!" He explained.

"No, _no_. It's ok..."

They both sat in silence for another minute before Remus spoke up again, "Ok, so. About what just happened. Were going to have to talk about it eventually. Maby after we eat." Remus said. Roman just shrugged. he didn't want to talk about it but Remus was right. It would be better if they did. "But that can wait. I'm just curious. Do you know what you _are_ now?" Remus asked.

"What?" Roman asked confused.

"Like, what do you _represent_? Most of the time, sides know it immediately. If not, I can always help you figure it out." 

Roman was quiet for a moment. He had a _good_ idea of what he represented, but what if he was _wrong_? _And Remus got **mad** at him and kicked him out? He didn't think he would be able to stand seeing the others yet. What would the others even **do** if they saw him? Would they **yell** at him? And call him a **traitor**? A **hypocrite**?_

" _Ro_?"

Roman flinched, slightly. Jumping when Remus had spoken. "S-sorry..."

"Hey, no, it's ok," Remus reassured, "You don't have to talk now if you don't want to." He said, "I know that shits confusing right now. But whenever you're ready, I'll be here to talk." 

Roman stared at Remus in shock. He was just being so... _patient_... "Oh, come on. Don't cry, Ro." Remus said. Roman gasped as hot tears rolled down his face, he didn't even know he was crying. Remus hopped off from the counter and pulled his brother into a hug. "Its ok, Ro. _It's ok..._ " Remus sat there, comforting his emotionally vulnerable brother until his tears slowly stopped. "Better?" Remus asked. Roman nodded. "That's good." The oven dinged. "Pizzas done!" Remus cheered, hopping up to grab the pizza from the oven. 

He didn't even bother with oven mitts, just reached his hands in the oven, and grabbed both pizza pans. Roman cringed at the sound of sizzling that came from Remus' hands. Remus seemingly didn't even notice, just sitting the pans down on the stove. Roman could clearly tell which one was his. His was a normal pepperoni a Remus' was fucking disgusting. The sauce was a mixture of normal pizza sauce and _blood_ , the cheese was _shaved deodorant_ , and it was topped with _sliced eyeballs_ and fucking _pineapple_. **_Pineapple_**. "Did you seriously put _pineapple_ on your fucking pizza?"

Remus looked stunned that that's what Roman's issue with his pizza was. For a moment, they both stared at each other in silence before bursting out in hysterical laughter. They just laughed and laughed and laughed. After everything that just went down, Roman _really_ needed a good laughed. 

After they finally managed to calm down, they settled into a comfortable silence as they ate. After a few minutes, Roman quietly spoke up, "Hey Re..."

"Yeah?"

"... I'm Insecurity..."

Remus gave him a supportive smile and held out his hand, "Welcome to the dark side, _Insecurity_." 


	3. To The Dark Side

Roman fiddled with his cloak as he sat on the dark sides couch. " _Listen_. I know you don't want to talk about this. But you _fucking_ **_fell_**. Like a goddam angle being thrown outa heaven in a burning ball of flame and ash. Or like a _super_ flamboyant astroid, hurling down to earth." Roman giggled lightly at his brother's wording. 

Remus smirked at this. " _See_. Not all things are bad right now. It will be ok. _J_ \- I was told that talking about these things can help sometimes." Remus said, before crossing his legs and summoning a popcorn box filled with deep-fried human fingers. "So like... Get to yapping. I'll listen."

Roman cringed slightly at the choice of Remus' snack. He didn't think he would ever get used to Remus'.. _.taste in food_. But he wouldn't even _think_ of complaining even if he _wanted to_ or had the confidence. Remus was being so _supportive_ and _accommodating_ and _understanding_.

_But have you?..._

Roman stilled slightly at the thought. He... _He hadn't really been the best brother before recently_... _But_... That didn't mean he couldn't start now? _Right_?

_Your only being nice to him because you have **no one left...**_

_He's being so kind to you after all you have **done** to him..._

_You've put down his ideas for being different..._

_You've put down him for being different..._

_You've been such a **horrible** brother..._

Roman squeezed his hands into fists, nails digging into his palms. The thoughts didn't hurt like last time. Not _physically_... But that got him thinking... He _was_ a horrible brother. All those times he had fought against him. He _constantly_ put down his ideas for being a little darker than his own. He treated Remus _worse_ that he has treated **_Virgil_**.

And _now_? Remus was just being so _kind_ and _respectful_ to him, while still being himself with his _ridiculous pizza_ and strange hungering for _fried fingers._ God. He was just so... _Amazing_ to Roman. Even after everything Roman has said or done.

"- _an_?"

_God_. He had spent years _hating_ Remus and doing anything he could to separate him from his twin. 

"- _oman_?"

_He had wanted to remove himself from Remus **so badly** that even the slightest comparison between the two of them had him spiraling down a long time building **mental break down**. _

~~**_'Oh, Roman, thank God you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is!'_ ** ~~

_**God**. He was a **horrible** person and an even **worse brother**. And now Remus is being **supportive** and wanting him to be open and talk to him about all of this that just started. _

_But that brought on another thought..._

_What if he was just **overreacting**? What if this whole thing was **just** him **overreacting**. Every time he felt **hurt** that slowly built to this **outcome**?... What if he was just being **dramatic**? And now he was just hurting everyone around him and making it about **himself**? _

_**Oh god.** He probably **was**. And now he's just ruining everything. How **self-centered** was he? How did any of the other sides even manage to put up with him? He was a **horrible** person. A **horrible** friend. A **horrible** brother. God. Maybe it would have been better if he **ducked out**. At least then he wouldn't have caused all of this trouble. **Or maybe he should have just stopped doing his job and let himself di-**_

" **Roman**!?" 

Roman jumped at the sound and the sudden feeling of hands-on his wrists. He gasped, feeling a few hot tears drip from his eyes.

"Breath with me, _ok_?" Remus said. Roman hesitantly nodded before following Remus' breathing. After a few minutes of breathing, Remus quietly started to encourage and comfort him. "Are you ok? Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Remus asked.

"Y-your just..." Roman sniffled, rubbing at his eyes. "Being _so nice_ and I... I just...I _dont_..." He paused, looking away, ashamed...

"Don't _what_ , Ro?"

Roman "I don't _deserve_ it..."

Remus looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I..." He felt hesitant. "I... I _don't deserve it.._. I just don't..."

"Why don't you deserve me being nice to you?" He asked, genuinely confused. 

How did he not understand it! " _Because I just don't!_ " He pushed back from Remus. "I've been nothing but a _piece of shit_ to you for **_years_**! And yet you're being the _nicest **fucking** person in the world_ do me!" He yelled, clawing his hands into his palms, "I've been such a _piece of **shit** brother_! Such a _piece of **shit**_ _friend_! A **_piece of shit person_**! I'm a _self-centered_! _Narcissistic_! **_Stupid_** _jerk_ who never learns or changes! And even when I _do_ try and change I'm always _wrong_! Wrong _wrong **wrong**!_" His, _now lightly bloodied_ , hands instinctually went up to his hair and tugged. 

_He was **wrong**! He was **always wrong**! **Wrong**! Wrong about **Virgil**! Wrong about the **dark sides!** Wrong about what was **best for Thomas**! Wrong about the **wedding**! Wrong about **Janus**! **Twice**!_

_God_ how could the others even _stand_ him?! He was _**horrible**_!

"-man!"

"- _oman_!"

" _ **Roman**_!" His hands were pulled away from his head. " _Stop it! Your **bleeding**! Your hurting yourself!_" Remus yelled, holding his hands down and keeping him from clawing himself. "You need to calm down and _breath_!" He insisted.

Roman tried, but he felt like he was _smothering_. Remus pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back as Roman slowly got a hold of his breathing. " _It's ok...It's ok... Just breathe..._ " Remus cried a bit. His brother was _way **worse**_ than he thought.

It took a bit longer for Roman to calm down. "Talk to me? _Please_? I know that we haven't really been close since we were kids, and I know that you did have a _hard_ time with other dark sides...I don't know _why_ , and I'm not going to lie... Sometimes it _hurts_... But I'm not just going to **_abandon you_**. Trust me, it _sucks_ ," He tried to joke, But that only caused Roman to whimper in his brothers hold, guilt only growing. Remus cringed slightly, " _Sorry, Sorry._.. But I figure that now's a good enough time if any to at least _try_ and fix our relationship. _Try_ and _get close?_ "

" _I'm sorry_..." Roman croaked out.

Remus rubbed his back soothingly, "It's _ok_..." They sat in silence for a few more minutes. "Do you want to talk about it now? You don't have to tell me everything right now, but as much as you feel comfortable saying?" He asked.

Hesitantly, Roman told Remus about the last episode. About how he messed up _once again_. He was afraid that Remus was _mad at him_ because his grip on Roman had tightened considerably as Roman leaned against his brother. He told him about the doubt of the wedding, the morality issues that he had upset Patton with, the argument between him and Janus. How he... Laughed... and his response to the laughter... He was so afraid of what Remus would say, so he just continued speaking so Remus didn't have time to say anything.

"I just feel like I'm always in the _wrong_. I was always told that the dark sides were _evil_ and _bad_ for Thomas, but when I fought against Virgil everyone got _mad at me._.. and then I thought I had learned from that mistake, so when Janus tried co convince everyone not to go to the wedding I _wanted to agree_ with him. But when I did everyone got _mad at me_ for agreeing with him," He sniffled slightly, frustrated,

"And then I thought, _Ok! Maybe I had it right the first time!_ _Maybe Virgil was just an **exception** or something!_ So I was mean to him again! And then I was _wrong_! _**Again**_!" His hands shook but he kept them firmly gripped to Remus' sash. "I was just trying to _listen_ to _Patton!_ From the _other_ time, I was _wrong_! _**With Thomas and his ex!** _But that time I had _hurt Thomas_! I was so disappointed with myself when I realized I hurt him! _I- I_ thought that if I agreed with Patton more, _no matter what_ , it would help me not hurt anyone anymore! But I was _still **wrong**_!" He cried softly into his brother's side. " _I don't know how much longer I can take everything I'm doing ending up being **wrong**..."_

Remus just squeezed onto his brother tighter. _He was going to **kill** them..._

* * *

"W-what was happening to him?" Thomas asked as everyone was reeling in shock from what just happened, Virgil and Janus still frozen in the spots they were in as they tried to help Roman before he disappeared.

"He... he fell..." Virgil muttered in shock, barely loud enough for Thomas to hear.

"What does that mean?" Thomas asked.

"I- It's like..." Logan cleared his throat, "It's like When Virgil became a light side. In figurative terms, Virgil 'rose' from the dark. It can also happen in reverse, you see. Roman had... fallen." Logan said, "Or, Well, he was in the stages of falling..."

Thomas felt absolutely shocked at this information, "I- How do we get Roman back then?" He asked, "There has to be some way we can help him!"

"W-Well kiddo, there is a way..." Patton started, hesitantly, "We just need to find him, figure out why he fell, then give him as much love and support as we can until he feels like his old self."

"I know that the last episode was bad but... I had never expected t to trigger this..." Janus whispered in shocked horror.

"He wasn't ok..." Virgil started, "He wasn't ok... He's said it before. More than once... He told us he wasn't feeling ok..." Virgil said... "T-the puppet video... The intrusive thoughts video... None of us _listened_..." Virgil's breathing picked up, he felt on the verge of a panic attack.

Thomas knelt by his side, comforting him and helping calm him down. "Virgil. It's going to be _ok_... Well find Roman and _fix this_. We'll, fix everything..." He promised.

" _What_ -" He shook slightly, "What if we _can't_? What if we _really messed_ _up_ _big time_? What if he doesn't _want_ to come back because _we upset him?_ What will we do _then_!? _We **need** Roman back_!" He started to Panic.

"We'll be able to get him back, kiddo." Patton said, "We just need to find him and we _will_ fix everything..."

"W-were could he even _be_?" Virgil asked.

"I am not sure... We will just have to look." Logan said.

"O-ok... _Ok_..." Virgil tried to get up, but he was shaking too badly. 

"We'll go look, " Patton said. "You look like your about to faint where you are. Thomas, can you watch Virgil, please."

Thomas nodded, rubbing Virgil's back soothingly.

The sides spit up, searching as much of the light side as possible. Room after room after room. _Nothing_. The more they looked, and the longer it took, the more frantic the search became. Eventually, they had to retreat back to Thomas' living room.

"Did you find him?" Thomas asked as he sat on the couch were he relocated Virgil.

Patton bit his lip and Logan just looked away. "I'm sorry, Thomas. Virgil... But I believe that it's already too late... I believe Roman is... In the dark side..."

"No... No, _no, **no**_!" Virgil began to panic. " _What are we supposed to do_!" Virgil asked.

"We'll just... Have to go get him _._.." Patton said.

Thomas nodded, "We _need_ Roman back. So. How do we get to the dark side?"

"I'll show you..." Janus said, extending his hand to Thomas.

* * *

Roman had eventually fallen asleep against Reums after another emotional rollercoaster. Remus was _exhausted_. He had barely slept over the last few days before Roman popped up and he had only managed to sleep _like_ , 30 minutes while in the bath. He needed to clean his mess in the living room if Roman was going to be staying for a while.

But he didnt have anything to worry about now, _right_? Roman was right next to him and he was a light sleeper, so if Roman woak up or needed anything Remus would be up and ready to help. The living room was cleaned of all the broken glass and trash.

So... _Maybe_... It wouldn't be the _worst thing_ to lean back and take a _little_ nap...

Slowly, he leaned back in the corner of the couch, trying not to wake Roman up as he continued to nap against Remus. He closed his eyes and let himself relax.

...

Remus' eyes snapped open, _something_ was different. He could _feel it..._

**_There was someone else in the dark side._ **


	4. Roman's Room

" _Roman_ , Roman time to get up," Remus sat up and shook Roman awake, not so gently. "You _need_ to go to your room."

" _H-huh_? What?" Roman rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Why?"

"I think the others are here," Remus quickly explained. Roman paled. He _wasn't_ ready to see them yet. Not after last time. What was he supposed to _say_ to them? What would they say _to him_? He didn't want them to be _mad_ at him. " Unless you feel like staying, you need to go to your room. Well, your _new_ dark side room." Remus explained.

" _How_..." He began, in a whisper, "How do I get to my _new_ room? Is it just like normal _or_...?"

"Just think about going to your room and sink out," Remus explained, "just like normal."

Roman nodded and held his breath before sinking out. When he rose up, he kept his eyes held shut. It was _cool_ , a lot cooler than his old room. Any colder and he would need to hiddle into his thick warm cloak. 

Peaking open his eyes, he looked at his room. It was nice and shared a few similarities to his old room. The walls, instead of a dark red, were now a warm orange, and large fanciful windows were mostly covered by thick dark black-out curtains. His black, wooden floor had a few orange and red rugs here and there, by his bed, desk, closet, door to the imagination, and dresser.

His desk looks as it always did, besides a swap in color pallet. His projects and art supplies and journals all laid untouched from where he last remembered them. The posters and fairy lights upon his walls and ceilings were nearly the same too.

One of the changes was now one of the empty corners of his room, that he had been struggling to find something nice to decorate it with, had been turned into a _gigantic pillow nest._ There were pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals _everywhere_. All different shapes and sizes.

Most of them were some shade of orange or black, some were shades of red. Then there were a few handfuls of smaller pillows in a rainbow of colors. Yellows, blues, dark blues, pinks, greens, purples. The _purples_ were his favorite. They were so soft and inviting.

It looked like a _very_ appealing place to nap.

But his _new and improved_ bed looked better.

His new bed was a large canopy bed that had heavy curtains that could be easily closed, leaving the inside of the bed tucked away in total darkness. On the inside were a few strands of soft white fairy lights that would light up the inside. The bed had several heavy blankets and big soft pillows.

It was _perfect_. The _best_ place to nap and hide away from the world.

He was so, _so_ tired, and with one nap on _that_ thing, he might _never_ wake up.

Roman was quick to hop onto the bed, not even bothering to pull up the covers as he sank into the soft bed. He was so _tired_ and _drained_ , no matter how much he slept. He just _needed_ another nap.

After a few moments of resting peace, Roman heard the faint sound of shouting that startled him. He _really_ didn't want to get up, but he was worried about Remus.

Pushing himself up and out of bed, He quickly made his way out the room and into the hallway and down the hall to the living room. Peeking into the living room he could see Remus and Janus having an argument. Logan and Patton stood off to the side, adding something into the argument every once in a while all the while comforting Thomas looked white as a sheet. He _really_ needed to leave. It didn't look alright for him to be in the dark side. He was _rarely_ in the mindscape in _general_. And Virgil stood off to the side, looking generally anxious about everything. 

He didn't know what they were fighting about, but he herd his name said a few times. He didn't know what to do so he just stood there in the corner of the hallway, watching Janus and Remus go at it with each other, it was making him nervous so he tugged his hood up and hid in the comforts of his cloak.

Eventually, he felt a pair of eyes on him. Looking around the room, his eyes quickly met Virgil's, who were stuck staring at him in shock. He could feel himself still and his heart rate pick up. He squeaked silently a bit and moved to hide further into the hallway.

* * *

Remus growled to himself as the others entered the dark side. Like _any of them_ had any _right_ for them to be here.

"Hello, Remus," Janus said as he popped up, bringing the others along with him.

" _Hey_."

"I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but you haven't happened to see your brother around hear, have you?" He asked. Remus almost wanted to _laugh_ at how polite the bastard was being.

"Why would he be down here?" He asked. It _technically_ wasn't a lie. At least not the ones Janus could taste. 

Janus twiddled with his cloak, something he did when nervous. " _Well_... In the last episode, some things were said and I am afraid that I might have said something that... Went a _little too far_ , in _hindsight_... And some other things happened... And we need to find him." He answered. 

At least the bastard was willing to admit he was in the wrong. But he wasn't giving him _shit_. Roman wasn't the _only_ one who had a right to be mad at him. "I have _not_ seen Roman."

Janus gave him a strange look while Patton spoke up, "Ok, kiddo. Were sorry to bother you, but can you _please_ let us know if you see him?" He asked.

"Sure," Another lie.

They looked like they were getting ready to leave when Janus finally spoke, "You're _lying_." They all stopped.

"What do you mean?" Logan asked Janus.

"He said he _hasn't seen_ Roman. That's a _lie_ ," Janus said, "And then he told Patton that he would alert him of Roman's whereabouts if he sees him. Another _lie_." They all looked at Remus.

"Remus, why are you lying?" Thomas asked.

Remus shrugged, "I'm mad at you guys." He answered simply, no longer beating around the bush. "Mainly _you_ ," he said, gesturing to Janus.

Janus sputtered in confusion, "Why _me_?"

"Several reasons at the moment," he stared at his ex-best friend. "You tried to _manipulate_ my brother _several time_ s, without apology. You played off of his _biggest_ insecurities. And had a _big_ part in his fall. So yeah. I have an _issue_ with you and that isn't even all." He explained.

"Were here so we can apologize to Roman and make things _right_ again," Logan said. "We _cannot_ make things right if you will not allow us to see him."

"Why..." Janus fiddled with his cloak, "Why _else_ are you mad at me?"

Remus glared at him. Was this bastard actually _that_ oblivious? Did he actually _not_ realize. "When, minus this **_lovely_** visit, were you _here_. In the dark side?" He asked.

Janus thought about it. "I know it has been a few _days_ but-"

" _1_. You have been gone. For _**four weeks"**_ He stressed. " _No_ note. _No_ , ' _I'll be gon for a while, don't worry!_ '. _No_ **nothing**. Without saying _anything_ to me, you left me all alone here for _four weeks_." Remus said, tears threatening to build in his eyes at the memory of realizing Janus _wasn't coming home_. "But whatever," He said, nonchalantly. "It wouldn't have been the first time someone would have _left_ me... Or broke promises..."

Halfway threw his schpeal, Janus' eyes widened with realization and guilt, "Oh, _Remus_. I am _so, so, so_ sorry. I hadn't realized that I was gone for that long without checking in on you." Janus said, "I _never_ meant to hurt you or break our promise. _I_ _swear_." He insisted.

Remus stared into those guilt-ridden eyes. "I don't _believe_ you. _Not anymore,_ oh lord of lies." Janus looked crushed.

"W- what was your promise?" Patton hesitantly asked. 

Remus rolled his eyes, "He promised not to leave me. Three people have left me now, and I'm _not_ losing another. So you all can just go suck some _major D_ because I'm not going to say anything." He said, sending glairs to Virgil and Janus, who looked away in shame.

"What are you talking about?" Thomas asked, looking confused. 

Remus really didn't want to delve down onto his shit, but these people were just so _dumb_ and _dense_. " _Roman_ left me when the dark and light side was created. I have no idea _why_ but after a good few years of being close while kids, he suddenly _hated_ me."

Remus said, " _Virgil_ and I used to be close friends. The fucking bastard was practically a second _fucking_ _brother_ to me. And then he fucking _booked it_ to the light side first chance he got,". Remus said, sending a harsh glair to Virgil who looked away in shame.

" _And how could I forget dear ol Janus_. After being left **_twice_**. He _promised_ me that he would _never_ do the same. He lied _obviously_. I'm just disappointed in my self that I didn't realize it sooner. It _is_ in his nature after all."

Janus looked hurt by that. Good. "Remus, please listen to me. I _truly_ am sorry. I _never_ meant to hurt-"

" ** _Save it_**." He snapped, "I don't _believe_ you anymore. You idiots will _never_ see Roman again unless he _wants_ to see you!"

"Remus, this his highly unhelpful," Logan began, "We cannot begin to hell Roman unless we can _speak_ to him. We need to reverse this as soon as possible before it causes unseen problems to Thomas' mental health." Logan explained.

"We don't even know Romans trait now," Virgil finally found the courage to speak up, seeing as this situation had made him particularly anxious. "How will we know how it affects Thomas?" He asked.

Remus smirked, " ** _You_** don't know his trait _. I do~_ "

Janus groaned in frustration, "Just tell us where he is Remus! We _can't_ waste any time! We need to fix this asap!"

" ** _Oh, you just trying to cover your own ass_**!" Remus yelled back, spurring on another argument. They kept going back and forth, with Patton and Logan chiming in every now and then. Virgil was starting to get _really_ anxious about it. With what happened to Roman, being in his old home, and the argument, it was no surprise that he was really anxious. It didn't help that he felt like someone was _staring_ at him.

Taking a quick glance around the room, he froze when he saw a hooded figure hiding in the hallway. Not expecting it, plus the fact that it scared the **_absolute shit_ **out of him, his heart rate _obviously_ quickened. After a moment the figure notices he was looking at him. The figure squeaked and hid further into the hallway.

...

_Wait a minute._

Looking around, no one noticed as he slowly made his way into the hallway. Slowly approaching the figure. "R-... _Roman_?" He hesitantly asked once he got close enough.

The figure- Roman nodded. " _Hey_ , _Virge_..."

Virgil wasted no time pulling Roman into a hug. " _Ro_! I was so _fucking_ _worried_ about you!"

"Y-you _were_?" He asked hesitantly.

" _Of course!_ You fucking _fell_! I know how much that shit sucks!" He insisted, reluctantly releasing Roman from the hug. "How are you feeling? Are you _ok_?"

"I'm... _Tired_..."

"Id bet," Virgil said, "After I became a dark side I slept for _nearly a week._ It's _very_ tiring." He sympathized. Remus and Janus' arguing had gotten louder, causing Roman to flinch back slightly. "Are you ok?" Virgil asked.

_"I... I don't like there fighting_..."

"Then... Lets... Tell them to stop."


	5. Virgil's Dog Whistle

Ok, so two anxious and insecure people trying to stop an argument probably _wasn't_ the smartest thing, nor the easiest. Virgil and Roman hadn't been able to make themselves known threw the chaos and shouting. 

Virgil bit on his thumbnail nervously. This hole situation was driving him _up the wall._ Glancing at Roman he noticed he was feeling just as bad, if not _worse_. This hole situation must have been _very_ hard and confusing for him. Virgil glanced town to see Roman's hands in tight fists, nails digging into his skin harshly. Small drops of _blood_ dripping onto the floor.

That seemed to finally make Virgil do something. He put his fingers to his lips and whistled hard and loud, causing everyone to freeze where they stood and turn to look at him. It only took a split second for the crippling anxiety to return with a vengeance as everyone stared at him. Awqurdly he shrugged and made a vague gesture to Roman.

After being frozen for a split second, they all shouted and ruched over. " _Roman!"_

"Oh Roman! Bud, we were _so_ worried about you!"

"Kiddo! Are you ok! What _on earth_ happened!"

"Roman, you are injured and are in need of assistance, let us get you home and bandage you up."

"Oh Roman. I am so _so so sorry._ I never meant for things to go this far!"

At some point, Roman had started to tune them out as he tried to focus on taming the shaking of his wrists. He felt _trapped_ and _uncomfortable_ and he just wanted to go and hideaway. But they were _so close_ , almost _trapping_ him in. He didn't _want_ to be here. He just wanted to hideaway. _He didn't want to be here. He wanted Remus. He didn't want to be here._

 _"Alright! Alright! Alright!_ Back off!" Remus shouted, pushing threw and making a boundary between Roman and the others. "You making him _uncomfortable!_ So you all need to back the _fuck_ off!" He growled. 

Roman felt the presents of the others immediately back away.

"You ok?" Remus asked.

Roman took a minute to calm himself down a bit. "Yeah just... _Overwhelmed_... Sorry..."

"That's ok," Remus reassured. "What do you want to do now?" Remus asked, glancing at the others. 

"Roman-" Thomas started, but Roman cut him off.

"No..."

"But, Rom-"

 ** _'̶̨͖̏͗͜Ṇ̶̢͉͓͔͊̅͒ȯ̷͍̻̹̞̹́̈́͂́͝!̶̙͇̲̬"̵͓͋̀_ **He flinched at the sound of his own voice, not expecting it to be that loud, reverbing off of the walls. " _N-no_... Don't call me that." He said. The name almost felt sour on his tongue. "Just don't... _Please_..." He said, refusing to look them in the eyes.

"Then... What would you _prefer_ us to address you as?" Logan asked.

Roman chewed on his lip slightly. "Just... Just call me _Insecurity_... For- for now... _Ok_...?"

The others were quiet for a moment. "Ok... _Insecurity_..." Someone answered. He couldn't tell, suddenly finding his shoes _rather_ interesting. 

He only glanced up for a moment before looking back down. He paused for a moment, thinking about what he glanced at. Looking back up he could see how _pale_ Thomas was. He _wasn't_ looking very good. "You guys need to _leave_." He quickly said. He might be feeling uncomfortable and horrible at the moment, but Thomas would _always_ be his main priority. 

**_He's done enough thinking about himself..._ **

"But Ro- _Insecurity_." Patton corrected himself, "Insecurity, please. Were sorry. _Please_ come back. We just want to help you. We never-... We never meant to _hurt_ you. _Please_ -"

Roman interrupted. " _Leave_. Now. _Please_."

" _Not_ without you." Virgil insisted. 

"You _don't understand_. You _need_ to leave," he gestured to Thomas, who looked like he was about to faint.

"Oh _goodness_ , Thomas! Are you ok?!" Patton yelped.

"I-i'm good. Just... _Lightheaded_..." He answered. 

"You _really_ need to leave. I don't think that it's ok for Thomas to be here."

Virgil nodded, "Alright. But we will be back." Virgil held onto Thomas' arm to sink down and get him out of there, but Thomas Refused.

" _No_ , not without R- Insecurity," Thomas said firmly. 

"But Thomas-"

"No."

"But-"

" _No_." He said, firmly.

Logan groaned in frustration, "Thomas. This is _not_ the time to be suborned. You look ill and you are _far_ too pale. It is not healthy."

" _Not. Without. Insecurity."_

Roman groaned. "Fine! _Fine_! If it will get you out of her then fine! _If_ Remus can go with me."

" _Deal_ ," Virgil said, immediately moving to get Thomas out of there as soon as he could. The others looked hesitant but soon followed Virgil. As soon as they were gone, Roman's shoulders dropped and he sighed heavily. He was so, _so tired..._

"You ok?" Remus asked, "You don't look so good..."

"Fine, fine..." He waved off. "Just tired..."

"Your _bleeding_!" Remus shouted. 

"Huh?" He looked down at his hands. His nails had dug into his palms, leaving deep crescent-shaped scratches that were bleeding. "O-oh. I'm sorry..."

"It's ok," Remus said, summoning bandages. "Are you _sure_ that you want to go back there?" He asked as he began bandaging Roman's hands.

Roman just nodded. "Yeah. You'll be there so I'll be fine..." He yawned. Remus froze for a moment before continuing to bandage Roman's hands. 

_Remus wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to cry._ " _Cool_." He denied that his voice broke.

Roman giggled. "You're _silly_." He yawned. "Why am I so tired?" He wined.

"It's what happened when you fall. It takes up a _lot_ of energy so you will be sleeping more and eating more for the next two days," Remus explained. "Maybe after this shit show, we can have a movie night and eat some food. Then we can take a nap or something." He suggested, finishing wrapping Roman's palms.

Roman smiled, "That sounds _great_ , Re," He flexed his palms lightly. "Should we... Go now?" He asked, fiddling with the hood.

"Only if you want to,"

Roman sighed. "Yeah. If not Thomas might try and come back here and talk to me. I _really_ don't want to talk right now, but I would _much rather_ do that then have Thomas get himself hurt."

Remus nodded, "Yeah, they're all _grossly_ sentimental. Let's go," He sunk down.

Roman sighed and just stood there, mentally preparing himself, before sinking down.


	6. Nap Time

When Roman rose up, black dots clouded his vision and he became rather light-headed. He was _almost dizzy._ He managed to steady himself before anyone noticed. 

"Insecurity..." Roman looked at Thomas, who was sat on the couch with the other sides around him. He still looked _rather_ pale but it seemed to be getting better. _That was good."_

"... _Yeah?"_ Roman answered hesitantly, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

"We need to talk..." Thomas said, "About what happened..."

Roman gulped. He really, _really_ didn't want to do this. He just wanted to go back to his room and _sleep_... He was _so tired_. "O-oh... ok..."

Thomas looked between Virgil and Janus. They knew more about this than he did. "When did it start?" Janus asked.

Roman shrugged, "I don't know...Sometime in the week, _maybe_. My shirt started turning black a bit before I was summoned but... I just thought I spilled ink on myself or something..."

"When did you first start feeling..." Virgil paused, "Insecure?" He asked.

Roman shrugged, "I don't know. Thomas has never really had the _biggest_ ego so I've always been at least _a little_ insecure..."

Janus and Virgil shared glances. "When did it start getting _bad_? Or well _overbearing?"_

"I- Sometimes the last few months? Why?"

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Virgil asked.

Roman subconsciously hid further into his cloak. "I-I don't know..."

"Did you notice the change?" Janus asked, "Or did it creep up on you?"

"I- Uh- I don't know?"

"Did you notice any change in your habit?" Virgil asked, "Like did you sleep more? Did how much you ate change? Did you stop doing certain activities?"

"I- I don't-..."

"How about-"

"That's _enough_ ," Remus said, drawing everyone's attention. "Stop hounding him with questions. It's obvious that he has _no idea_ what the hell is going on. And you guys _grilling_ him isn't going to make it any better."

_"S-sorry._.." Virgil rubbed at the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to hound you, R- _Insecurity."_

Roman nodded, "It's ok. I'm fine." He was shaking underneath his cloak.

The room was silent for a minute. It wasn't _awkward_ , but no one really knew where else to go with the current situation. "We _need_ to reverse this..." Logan eventually said.

_"How?"_ Roman asked.

"Well, Kiddo," Patton started, "From how I understand it, it's a little like how we accepted Virgil. It's going to take some time, but with enough love and patience, we will be able to get you to your good old self in no time!" He said optimistically. 

Roman fiddled with his cape, " _Oh..._ " He felt stupid. _That was obvious._

"Ok, _so_ ," Remus began, "Your idea is to spit up _love_ an _affection_ on Roman till it heals him with _the power of friendship?"_ He asked.

"When you put it like _that_ , it sounds stupid," Logan said, "But there _is_ going to be far more planing, we need to get at the deep-seeded root of the issue. For that, I have come up with a plan-"

Roman tuned Logan out. Not on _purpose_ , but he was having trouble focusing. He sort of stared off into the distance, eyes unfocused as his ears began to ring. It was so _loud_ and _distracting_ , he could hardly focus on anything else. He was... _so... **tired.**_

"-man?"

He flinched and jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Roman?" It was Remus. Roman let himself relax a bit.

"Yeah?" He asked quietly.

"Are you ok?" Remus asked, "You were spacing out quite a bit there..."

" 'm fine. I'm just _re-_ " He yawned, "- _ally_ tired..."

Logan nodded, "That makes sense. You have had little to _no_ sleep for over a week,"

**_"Holy shit!_** " Virgil gasped, "I forgot about that! You haven't slept in a _week!_ _And_ you fell! I'm shocked your even standing right now!"

"Why?" Thomas asked.

"When a side falls, it uses up _a lot_ of energy." Janus explained, "After the falling process, a side will sleep more and eat more for a while. It can last from a week to a month,"

"Two months for me," Virgil said.

"You were a... _special case_. Regardless, R-Insecurity, you must be _exhausted."_

Roman just nodded at the sound of his name, he wasn't even listening at that point. He blinked a few times and the black dots returned in his vision. They were getting bigger. "Come on," He felt Remus try and lead him to the couch, "Why don't you take a nap?"

Roman tried to move to follow Remus but everything went black and his knees buckled underneath him. He faintly heard the others shout out but he was too tired to respond.

_He just wanted to **sleep.**_


	7. Virgil Doesn't Know Spanish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chap. I wanted this to be a lighter chap before I start on any drama and I wanted to develop Virgil and Roman's relationship a bit more.

Roman yawned as he relaxed into the covers. The covers were heavy. but comforting. Despite his comfort, he peaked his eyes opened. Above him, he saw the canopy of his bed above him.

He sat up with a groan and poped his back that cracked in several places. He felt heavy and tired. Looking around he noticed that he was in his new room. He slowly pushed himself off of the bed. He felt like all of his limbs were being weighed down by stones. 

He almost wanted to go back to sleep again but at this point, he felt tired of sleeping. 

He hurd snoring.

Looking around he finally noticed that he wasn't alone. 

Virgil was there. He was sleeping in his pile of pillows. He was spread out, practically spread out in the pillows. He didn't know that Virgil snored. Roman still felt exhausted so he plopped down on the pillow pile next to Virgil. He was tired of sleeping but one more nap wouldn't hurt.

* * *

Virgil shifted as he felt a weight on his abdomen. It wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't something that he was expecting to wake up to. 

Rubbing his eyes and looking down and he noticed Roman. Who was not in bed. But laying on top of him.

Virgil shifted around a bit, contemplating waking Roman. He kinda wanted to get up, but Roman really needed his sleep.

He sighed, laying back down before pulling out his phone. He could wait to move. And if worst came to worst he could always text to someone for back up.

* * *

Virgil spent several hours on Tumbler and Reddit and Youtube. He got hungry at one point but had a granola bar in his pocket. "How long have you been stuck like that?" Virgil looked up to see Remus standing in the doorway.

"Hours," Virgil grumbled. "He's like a goddamn cat. I can't feel my legs. Help me." He wined out, making grabby hands at Remus.

"Why didn't you just wake him up?" Remus asked.

"He needs his sleep," Virgil said, crossing his arms. 

"Yeah, but he also needs to eat and he has been out for two days. So its probably ok for him to wake up now." Remus said. "I'm making tacos!" He said before leaving.

Virgil loved Remus tocos. He was a surprisingly good cook when cooking for others. "R- Insecurity," Virgil said, shaking Roman's shoulder. "Insecurity, wake up."

Roman yawned sitting up slightly as he rubbed at his eyes. He looked up at Virgil sleepily with his hair flopping over his eyes. "Hey, Virge..." He yawned. 

Virgil chuckled, "Hey Insecurity. Remus is going to make tocos. So we got to get up."

Roman yawned. "How long have I been asleep?" He asked.

"Around two days," Virgil answered. "So you're going to be starving." He laughed. 

Roman groaned and flopped back down on Virgil. "I don't wanna get up yet..." He wined, curling further into Virgil's side.

"Ro- Insecurity- Ugh!" Virgil groaned, "Can I just call you a nickname. Your name is looooonnnng." Virgil wined.

Roman giggled into Virgil's side causing Virgil to laugh. "Like what?" Roman asked.

Virgil shrugged, "I don't know. Insi? Ritt? Inniey? Curey? Like what the hell am I supposed to call you?"

Roman laughed. "Those all suck."

"Well then what do you have in mind?" Virgil crossed his arm, laughing. 

Roman shrugged. "I don't know!"

"Well then, I'm just going to have to keep on going till you like something." Virgil laughed, "Ina, secureie, uhhh cure?"

"Is that all you got?" Roman asked, sifting so he was in Virgil's lap looking up at him.

Virgil groaned picking at his brain to figure himself out. "Uuhhh... Uhhhh... You like Spanish right?" Roman nodded. "I know a few Spanish words. Uuhhhh... Mostaza?" Roman laughed. "What did I say? He asked. Roman just continued to laugh. " Whatever you dork. Gata? Araña? Burbuja?" Roman continued laughing. "Uuhhh... Mi Amado?" Roman was no longer laughing. His face was now a bright scarlet red. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"No."

"What did I say?" Virgil asked.

"Something that... People who are close say to each other..." Roman answered, pulling his cloak up and over his face.

Virgil looked confused but went along with it. "Were close, right? So am I allowed to call you Mi Amado?" Roman squeaked.

"Where did you even learn that?" Roman asked, hiding his face. 

Virgil shrugged, "Remus used to call Janus that a long time ago along with some other things. Neither of us knew what it meant." He shrugged. 

Roman was quiet for a moment. "I- fine. I guess it's ok..."

Virgil laughed. "Now are you going to get up so we can go eat or am I going to have to carry you, Mi Amado?" Roman squeaked.


End file.
